


Techno Blade Never Dies (Really)

by HuntDue



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 2/4 sbi, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Fighting, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Grim Reaper Philza, Not shipping - Freeform, Oneshot, Stubborn Technoblade, Technoblade and Philza - Freeform, cursing, death mentions, just funny and wholesome times really, technoblade never dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29953872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntDue/pseuds/HuntDue
Summary: "technoblade never dies and phil is the angel of death. au where their first meeting was phil trying to collect techno’s soul, but he proceeds to spit in phil’s face and run away. in other words, techno escapes death from grim reaper phil"Idea from @ simpingboisinc on Twitter! Go check her out, they're amazing!!
Kudos: 61





	Techno Blade Never Dies (Really)

**Author's Note:**

> Original idea by @ simpingboisinc on Twitter! I highly recommend you check him out, she posts a BUNCH of cool AU ideas there!!

Being the grim reaper was a tiring job, yet it never seemed to get old. It was generally the same stuff over and over again: people die of old age or a common illness, and when they realize they’re dead, they either cry or show relief. Though, sometimes people had unique deaths, or responded to their death in funny ways. Those were what kept the job interesting, but for the most part, it was the same stuff.  
Philza was used to it. He had been doing it for so long that he doesn’t even know what he would do if he had to stop for some reason. Not much surprised him anymore, as he had seen practically every death and heard every imaginable response. He had been doing this for many millennia, so he was sure he had seen everything by now. 

That is until one afternoon when he gets a call out in a meadow. He appears there and sees a fight going on between two men. One man was on the ground, looking to be on the losing side of the fight. He had long pink hair and pig ears on the side of his head, along with two tusks poking out from his mouth. Phil summoned his scythe and was prepared to guide his soul once the other man landed the final blow on him.  
However, the pink-haired man didn’t give in that easily. He glanced around the area, likely scanning his options, and dodged the other man’s sword. He managed to knock the other man down while getting back up on his feet and grabbed his sword. Even though he was weak, he ended up winning the battle, killing the other man.

Then it happened. 

The pink haired man turned to look at Phil and spat at him before running away.

Philza blinked.  
It wasn’t the first time that a mortal saw him without losing their soul. After all, that’s how he got the nickname “Angel of Death” from the mortals. It was a rare occurrence, but it still happened from time to time.  
However, this was the first time that a mortal saw him and spat at him. That was definitely new.  
Though, he couldn’t ponder too long at this, as he had to guide the other man’s soul to the afterlife, and he already had more calls to answer.

One night, he gets another call and appears in an alleyway. It was the pink man again, this time cornered by a group of 3. It seemed like the pink man was actually going to lose this one. Phil summoned his scythe and prepared to reap his soul.  
The pink man glanced up, seemingly looking directly at Phil. In that moment, he summoned all of his strength and tackled one of the men. The man struggled and his friends tried to save him by slashing at the pink man. However, he used their friend as a shield and stole the man’s sword. He tossed the man down, looking at the other two. A grim smirk crept onto his face as he fought both of them.  
Like that one afternoon, he surprisingly won the fight. Though he was badly injured, Phil could tell his willpower was too strong for him to die yet.  
Then, the man looked at Phil and spat at him again before walking away, out of the alleyway.  
Philza furrowed his brow, wondering why he felt the need to do that again.  
He couldn’t think about it for too long, though, since there were three souls right in front of him that needed reaping. 

Another morning, Phil got a familiar call. It was very rare for him to recognize a call, as it only happened when he had failed to reap the soul of someone multiple times before. He appeared this time in a forest, looking over to see a seemingly unfair fight. Once again, it was the pink man, this time fighting five men. Not only was he outnumbered, but he was also outgeared.  
Surely, Phil thought, surely he’ll lose this time…  
How wrong he was.  
The pink man, once again, looked at Phil. And, once again, it was at that moment that he mustered up all of his strength and tightened the grip on his sword. He attacked the man in the center of the group, backing up when the others targeted him. He grabbed one of the smaller men and used him as a shield against another, pushing him towards the other and blocking an attack from someone else. A girl swung at him, to which he ducked and she accidentally hit her teammate. She was shocked for a brief moment, and in that moment the pink man grabbed her and threw her at the person she had hit.  
The largest man in the group, the one he originally attacked, lunged at him with a broadsword. The pink man barely managed to dodge, the tip of his long hair getting cut. Just as he was regaining his bearings, he noticed one of the others charging at him. He swiftly stepped to the side, making them run into the large man and both of them lost their balance.  
The sight was impressive to Phil, really. It wasn’t often that he saw fights, he usually only saw the end of them. This was the third time he had been called to reap the soul of the pink man, only to witness him deny death and fight his way to victory. Phil wasn’t sure if the man was scared of death or just too determined to die.  
Phil watched as he took out the men until there was only one left. The pink man held his sword to the last one’s throat. The last man’s face was filled with many emotions, but he looked up at the pink man’s face.  
“How the hell did you not die?” He growled, defeat in his tone. The pink man glanced over at the Angel of Death for a moment before looking back at the man, smirking wickedly.  
“Simple,” he started, leaning in towards the man. “Techno Blade never dies.”

The fourth time he was called was a bit more peaceful, but just as unsuccessful as the last three. Phil appeared in a forest in front of the pink man, Techno Blade, who was leaning against a tree badly injured. He was clutching his side, obviously in pain, but felt the reaper’s presence. He glanced up at him, pain in his eyes. Phil offered him a small smile, holding his scythe to the side.  
Before he could say anything, though, Techno spat at him again and ran away.  
“You motherfucker!” Phil yelled, wiping his face in disgust.  
“Techno Blade neva dies!” The man laughed as he ran away, surprisingly fast considering his condition. Phil shook his head in annoyance, but he had another call to answer so he decided he’d let him get away.

It was the fifth time now that Phil was called to Techno. The fifth time that he appeared to see him in deadly circumstances. The fifth time Techno had fought his way to victory.  
And the fifth time he spat at him after winning. 

It was a couple days after this that Philza got a break. It wasn’t often he got breaks, as there was almost always at least one soul to reap. However, there were a few brief moments every now and then in which he could simply relax. He usually sat in a peaceful place during his breaks, but this time he decided to pay a visit to the interesting man, Techno.  
Phil appeared in a clearing in a forest where a small but tidy shack lied. There was a garden in front of the house, and behind was a training area. There was a fenced area to the left where a couple of horses roamed, along with a few dogs. To the right, there was a small shed that seemed to hold a mix of garden equipment and weapons and armor.  
On the porch of the house sat Techno, looking down as he sharpened a sword. His hair was cut just below shoulder length, likely due to another fight he got in. He wore an ivory blouse and black pants with a black belt, along with dark brown shoes. There was a sleeping dog to his right, and on his left sat a golden crown and blood red robe. He didn’t seem to notice Phil’s presence.  
“You know,” Phil started, taking a step forward and grabbing Techno’s attention. “Never, in a millenia, did I ever expect someone to spit at me upon evading death, let alone do it five times.” He gave him a weary smile as he put his hands together, the long sleeves of his dark robe covering them. Techno seemed cautious at first, but soon a smirk formed on his face as he put his sword to the side and chuckled.  
“Well, I don’t plan on dyin’ anytime soon, so I just gotta make sure to get that message across,” Techno responded, crossing his arms on his lap as he leaned forward. The reaper rolled his eyes.  
“That doesn’t mean you have to spit on me!” He exclaimed, though there was no malice behind his words. Techno laughed.  
“Listen, listen, I have to make sure you won’t try to take my soul anytime soon, alright? Nothin personal,” He smirked. Phil shook his head.  
“You really are an interesting one. Not many people escape death five times in one lifetime,” Angel of Death commented. Techno stood up, raising his brow.  
“Do I get a prize or somethin for it?” He asked. Phil snickered.  
“What, like not dying? What kind of prize are you expecting?” He responded. Techno shrugged and thought.  
“I dunno,” He paused. “How about your name?” Philza was surprised by his request.  
“My name?” He asked. Techno nodded.  
“Well, yeah. I assume your name isn’t actually Angel of Death or Grim Reaper, so what's your name?” He said. Phil thought for a moment.  
No mortal knew his name. There was no reason for him to share it. Though, this mortal was unique, so maybe it was worth telling this one soul. He finally came to a decision.  
“Ten times.” Phil said. Techno gave him a confused look. “If you evade death ten times, I’ll tell you my real name.” He clarified. Techno thought for a second before nodding with a smirk.  
“Challenge accepted.”  
“Though, spit at me again, and you can fuck off.” Techno laughed at the reaper’s addition, but nodded again to show he understood.

Philza saw a lot more of the pink man after that. Usually, though, it was to reap the soul of the people he was fighting, and not actually for him. He wondered if Techno had gotten in more fights to try and get more near death experiences, or if something happened that caused him to become more violent. Either way, it wasn’t his job to question it, but rather his job to reap the souls he killed.  
There were a couple of times where Phil was about to reap the soul of someone he killed, only for him to hear Techno complain. “Come on, that had to count! I totally almost died there!” Phil would shake his head and allow himself to become visible to Techno when this happened.  
“Not close enough, mate,” He’d respond. Sometimes Techno would sigh in defeat, and other times he would argue for why it was. Either way, Phil couldn’t count it and they’d have to move on. Every now and then, though, Techno would be the one Phil was summoned for, and just like the many times before, Techno would somehow manage to escape.

It was now the tenth time Phil was summoned to try and reap the soul of Techno. However, he got a call to reap the soul of the man he was fighting as well. When he appeared in the near-empty arena, he made himself invisible to both of them to scope out the situation. He was surprised at the sight before him.  
Techno was fighting another man Phil was used to seeing: he wore a green tunic with dark brown pants and always had a mask with a smiley face on it. He had evaded quite a few times now, and he had impressed Phil a number of times. However, to see these two in a fight left him curious as to who would win. After all, both of them were always too stubborn to give up their soul, and they were both strong fighters. Not to mention, he was currently on track to reaping both of their souls, but he felt like that was bound to change, knowing these two.  
So, Philza sat back and watched the fight. It was quite impressive, as both men were on a very similar level. It was easy for him to tell who was winning in each moment, as he would feel called to reap one’s soul more than the other, but overall, he had no clue who’d win in the end.  
It wasn’t long before both men were standing a few feet apart from each other, both crouched in pain. Techno was holding his side, while the other held his shoulder. After panting for a few seconds, they both seemed to read the other’s look.  
“Should we call it a draw, then?” The man in green asked. Techno took in a breath.  
“What, too scared I’ll end up beating you?” Techno bluffed. Even from behind the white mask, it was easy to tell the other man rolled his eyes.  
“No, I just think we’re going nowhere with this fight, so we may as well call it a draw for now,” He responded. Techno didn’t want to, but it was obvious he had no other choice.  
“Fine, I suppose.” With that, they gave each other one final nod before walking away.  
As Techno walked away from the arena, Phil appeared behind him.  
“Ten.” He stated simply. Techno stopped at the familiar voice, pausing for a moment before turning around to look at him.  
“I can’t believe you actually managed to evade death ten fucking times,” Phil mentioned. Techno chuckled.  
“Does this mean I get my prize now?” He smirked. The reaper sighed, though there was a small smile on his lips.  
“Fine, I guess you deserve it,” He said in false defeat. He looked up at Techno.  
“It’s Philza, but you can just call me Phil,” He said. Techno thought for a moment.  
“Not gonna lie, I thought it would be something way cooler, but ok,”  
“Oh, fuck off,” They both laughed. 

Philza was pleased when it seemed that Techno kept his name a secret. There was a small part of him that was worried he would spread it, but he was glad to find out Techno kept it to himself. They still had small interactions here and there, usually when Phil would reap the soul of a person Techno had killed. Phil didn’t want to admit it at first, but he had grown fond of the mortal. It was nice to have someone he so regularly talked with.  
So, being Death himself, Philza approached Techno one day with a deal.

“Tell me, Techno. I know you have your brand of ‘Techno Blade never dies’, but how would you feel if you were actually immortal? Well, somewhat, at least.” Phil offered. Techno was surprised.  
“What do you mean ‘somewhat’?” He asked.  
“Well, basically, you wouldn’t be able to get sick, and you wouldn’t age anymore. You wouldn’t be able to die of old age or anything like that, but you could still be killed by other people.” Phil explained. Techno nodded in understanding and thought for a few moments.  
“You don’t have to accept right now, just somethin to think about,” Phil smiled, before continuing. “There is a catch, though. You’ll have to keep fighting and killing people. Basically, you have to keep giving me souls to reap,” Techno thought about it for a bit, Phil slowly growing impatient for his response.  
“I’ll do it,” Techno finally said. Phil was a little shocked at his response but pleased nonetheless. He smiled at him.  
“Then it’s a deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> AO3 messed up my formatting and now im mad >:(


End file.
